Sorry for the leave of absence

Lets recap over the worst 2 weeks of my life...

-Friday the 7th: my dog has major surgery on her neck which lasted 5 hours. nerve-wracking as hell, but she made it through.

-Monday the 10th: [see posted titled "Hell"]

-Sunday the 16th: I learn that my store, Gallery Row, is closing in 2 weeks, before Thanksgiving

-Monday the 17th: Get lost going to and coming from Atlanta to tell Paul we're closing. When I get home, I learn that "2 weeks" actually meant Saturday, as in Friday's our last day.

-Wednesday the 19th: I realize how much I DON'T want Jets to be my primary job.

-Thursday the 20th: Leave the house to go to physical therapy, my car's acting fucked up, and its because I have a flat tire. Fix that, and then I go to work my last shift ever at my store.

Now,

I ask you, how can this get any worse? Lump these weeks together with the fact that Marleny is in Japan for 10 more months, my dad's lost almost 70% of his business, and the fact that I'm still 17, and that I was basically told by 4 guys within a 1 month period that I wasn't good enough, and basically, I'm just waiting for someone to kick the bucket, because this has been a

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SHITTY YEAR.

---------------------------------Now I'm Going To Be Controversial!-------------------------------------

>Who in their right mind can like Catch 22 more than Streetlight Manifesto? 

>furthermore, who can like Catch 22's Keasbey Nights more than SM's?

>Jesus was not magical. Jesus and I are going to sit and talk one day over chicken soup at a deli, because  he is MY homeboy, not YOURS, the WORSHIPER'S, and we are going to laugh at you! Or something.

> Corporations are disgusting.

>Fuck Abstinence! (pun intended)

>I support illegal aliens. They're awesome and they make great friends.

>Anybody who thinks Sarah Palin deserves any sort of public office is an IDIOT. 

>most republicans are pig-headed idiots.

>actually, Sarah Palin is one of those women who SHOULD just stay in the kitchen.  And therefore, she makes all women look bad for fitting perfectly into the stereotypical mold.

>Flutes have no business being in ska bands (fuck you again, Catch 22)

>I torrented an episode of Doctor Who, among other things, which has to be illegal.

> [see www.myspace.com/pipkinandcurry and listen to The Bayleen and Gucci Song]

>The End.

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Tomorrow I'm going to my first 2 classes, only because I have a Music Appreciation test, and then I'm going to spend my last day at the store. Paul, Cassie, and Garrett are coming too. Andy, Ashley, and Jessie should already be there too. So all the Ho's together there one last time. I really never saw it happening this way, and happening so fast...

So many customers today made me want to cry. We really have become a part of so many peoples' lives. 

Closing time...every new begining comes from some other begining's end...

cheers, friends (of which as far as I know, there are only 2)

-Rachel

"Say 'crack' Again..."

Hey loyal readers, of which there are basically 2.

I'm watching Mean Girls. Just about every line in this movie is quotable. I love it.

I just had a general, overall good day today. Slept in, went to work, work was really awesome: fairly busy, $20 in tips, finished everything and was out of there by 7:15. And I took a peanut butter cookie with me.

On the way home, I came up with this:

"So you were born, that was a good day...

I just ate a cookie!

Some day you'll die, and that is a shame...

...no more cookie...

but somewhere in the between, you live a life of which we all dream...

it was a good cookie.

and nothing and no one will ever take that away."

its in my stomach.

By the way, I got a guitar yesterday. Its a black Fender Squire, and its only 3/4 size, so my little fingers can basically play it. I love it! And I'm not completely horrible. But I still basically suck. 

GREY'S ANATOMY IS THE MOST DISGUSTING SHOW I'VE EVER SEEN.

I DON'T CARE HOW GREAT THE ACTING IS!

I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES NEED TO SEE A GUY THAT HAS BEEN FOLDED IN HALF WITH HIS FEMUR STUCK IN HIS CLAVICAL!!!

~time to be poetic-y~

There is just something about cloudy days. I think they feel more real than sunny days. But at the same time, they remind me of being in a dream. I think I usually dream in cloudy days. Everything's just calmer, easier on the eyes. Life seems more unlimited, and like anything could happen. Maybe it makes me think of snow. All the fall trees really compliment grey skies. Fall is the best time of year, followed closely by winter.

!!!!-time to be upset-!!!!

Why is it that there are couples all over the place? Love is everywhere. Except with me. 

I just want another half, I just want someone I can run too as soon as I see them, someone I'm always happy to see no matter what, someone who I can just lay with and laugh, someone I can make music with, and enjoy music with, someone who lets me know I'm special to them. 

I just want to be completely happy. 

Thats all for now, baaah it was a long one! Oh well. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

True Satisfaction

I just had one of those moments, where you're attacked by someone, and then, miraculously, you say exactly what you want to say. The sort of thing Meg Ryan describes in You've Got Mail. I really couldn't have come up with a better response to this person if I had sat and edited and reworked it for days, or weeks.

I just feel completely at peace. 

Well, not completely, but about this one issue.

Meanwhile, the day we (Lars, Chris, and I ) have been dreading in English finally arrived: 

reading a play aloud in parts.

Unfortunately, I am the only one of this here to experience it.

Fortunately though, I don't have to read for anyone. 

43 days until Christmas, 66 days until Streetlight Manifesto and Reel Big Fish, and 147 days until my birthday. 

That last one seems obnoxiously far away. Oh well.

Goddamn. We have wasted an entire class reading this play (horribly, I might add).

Riddle Rachel This: isn't this supposed to be college?

Cheers.

 

Hell

Tonight, I went through a lot of unnecessary pain.

• I was betrayed by a close friend, something I never thought they were capable of,
• I had to, and still have to, worry about another very close friend who was affected worse than me,
• I was forced to face yet again, that this is the year when everyone seems to be leaving...and the only place that truly feels like home to me, will no longer be home in a couple months. I can only hope the people that made it home, will come back and stay together.
• I faced, and finally broke down over, how messed up my dog has been, and how messed up she's going to be for a while. I'm grateful she's at least alive though.
• What started out as talking to my mom about how I felt about my dog, my dad came in, and they ended up doing the thing where they attack me about every aspect of my life and make me feel inferior and constricted. This time it lasted almost 3 hours.
• I have been shaking uncontrollably since about 5:00, and was crying intensely for the past 4 hours. 

The only bright point was being able to go talk to my dad alone, and tell him about what this former friend did, which I found out he already knew. I was still shaking the whole time. It was probably one of the best talks we've ever had, and my chest isn't hurting anymore.

I also found out my mom knows too. I feel so bad about that, because she was upset enough about my dog. She didn't need any extra stress, not now anyways. But she's been handling it surprisingly well, so I might be ok. For now at least.

I made this as undetailed as I possibly could, but it still turned out long. Oh well. It was worth writing, if for no other purpose than to make me feel a little better.

On a completely different foot, I tried dying my hair this afternoon with Lars, and L'OREAL dye SUCKS BALLS. It hardly did anything. So don't be looking for a radical hair change. It didn't happen. We had fun though. And then hell happened. But you already know about that.

I have my first physical therapy session tomorrow. And my dad's gonna take me car in to get...well, it probably needs ALOT of stuff done to it, but anyways, at least that's finally gonna get done. 

"And when you wake up, everything is gonna be fine. I guarantee that you'll wake in a better place, and a better time."

I love that. Its so true.

hope life is good for you,

Rachel

Lets follow through with this "Acoustic TK" business

http://www.altpress.com/modules/dsp_mediaplayer.cfm?pathXML=xml_mp3.sml&track=33

*this blogspot bitch won't let me copy and paste the link. so i just typed it out myself. if it doesnt work, either be conscientious and use google, or let me know. i mean, its worth it...*

Age & Acoustic TK

Who can you ride around at 90 miles an hour with and listen to Bob Marley, Spice Girls, and K-Fed? ASHLEY! 

Went to Actors Express tonight (downtown) to see Erin (new chick at Rows) in her play. It was great, very funny, nice message too (something about being gay and 911 and New York).

We saw 2 penises tonight:

one was real and in the play,

one was black and graffitied on a wall.

So heres a real "Riddle Rachel This" question, or thought: I really dont think age should be measured by the time you've been alive, but by how you, or anyone else has filled that time. 

I also dont think there's a transitory stage between childhood and adulthood. Some people believe that's what teenagers are, but no.

I think there is a finite moment where you pass from a kid to an adult. You might not be able to put your finger on the exact moment, but at some point, you look at your self, whether its in a mirror, or you just watch your hands doing something, and you realize you actually seem older. And you can't ever go back to being a kid again. I personally never want to. So I'm not worried. Just anxious, excited, and it's still taking too long for my liking.

But today was a success overall. I did have my underwear on inside out all day, and I had to go back home in the middle of my shift to get my Psych book, but in the end, neither one of those really hurt anyone.

Want to hear the voice of God? Or at least close to it: 

well, fuck it, if the link doesn't show up in this post, I'll make another one after it.

Anyways, thank you to Chris for this link. 

And thank YOU for reading.

-Rachel

Hellooo...

So I've felt like starting one of these for a while now, some of you might have even heard me talk about it before, and now, I'm following through.

Well, rather then heading up to Little 5 as I'd originally intended, I took an absolutely gorgeous drive through the country to Carrollton to visit my friend/sister Cassie. I won't go into much detail, but I got to go riding (horses), which is always great. Also, the trip basically made me feel like I should keep believing in "fairy tails", or "happy endings". So I'll give it a shot.

Also, I was in a pretty good mood because so far my dog, Buffy, has survived major surgery. 

Some things I'm working on right now:

-watching Van Helsing (I have NO idea why I like this movie, I just do)

-not hatefully facebook stalking my arch-nemesis, KNSlut anymore

-applying to GSU

-registering for classes next semester

-JUST found out about 5 minutes ago I have a Psych test due tomorrow and paper due Monday. great. MORE stuff to do.

-I really need some drums.

-I'd really like to find a nice guy and settle down for a while.

-I have some hair dye sitting on my counter waiting to be used.

MOVIE REVIEW:

Zack and Miri Make a Porno * * * * * [5 stars] its funny. and naked. most people can't think of anything better than that. and obviously, it can't. 

That's all I can think of for now! Holla bitches!

-Rachel