So its almost come full circle.
And I'm not sure why I'm constantly assuming this year will parallel the last, but nevertheless, I've been terrified of the oncoming November.
So lets see where I am now...working at Gallery Row again, except I've recently begun to hate it a little. And the only reason for that is the fact that I have to drive almost an hour to get here, and then work an 8 or 10 hour shift alone. Im still passionate about the work itself, especially my new assistant manager shit and finally being able to justify my power. Even if its still only for minimum wage. Oh yeah, thats another reason I'm fucking tired of this shit-my raise hasn't been showing up in payroll yet.
Besides the job, everything is actually going pretty fucking great, to the point of almost being too good to be true: I've finally figured out exactly what I want to study for the next 2 and a half years of forced higher education: Anthropology. Fuckin excited about it too.
McCabe and I are on absolutely honest and good terms, we've started working on music stuff, Andy and Ryan are happily married, Cassie and Roland are probably soon to be happily married, and for the first time in 5 years, Cassie has a real place to live. A real (and really nice) apartment with a real guy who takes care of her and makes her happy no strings attached.
Marleny, though in shitloads of debt, is still fairly happy, and is probably going to settle down herself in the next few years. Dunno what Garretts up to except for lots of mountain biking, but I think he's good for now. Paul cut his hair and is probably going to become a victim of "Bro Rape" (youtube it) before long, but I think he's content, and thats what matters.
I've been to New York, I've sat in front of that house and cried, and I'm closer to feeling OK with all that again. My relationship with my mom is unrecognizable compared to a year ago. We actually went out and got along perfectly for an entire evening. It was actually fun. She treats me like a real human being now.
I'm dating a guy that is so close to perfect it bothers me. Except he only pays for me if its something cheap, like just coffee. And he makes way more than me, so I don't get it...
Is it bad that when things are going really well, I'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan again? And I mean, honestly, this is what happened last year about this time, except things are actually way better than they were....so does that mean that whatevers coming is going to be correspondingly worse? Or am I paranoid? Or did everything thats happened in the past year just been necessary to get to this point?
We shall see...
I had one of those moments where I felt like I'm already in the future, like grandparent age, and that whats happening right now is just a flashback into the past.
Of course, thats really what it is, if you want to get freaky and technical: somewhere in the future, we already are looking back and remembering whats happening right now. You know? You care? NO! Ha...
So yeah. I need to keep up with this more like I used to. I'm really going to make more of an effort. Cyber venting fronts are good for me.
Cheers,
