Its been a couple days.
You don't care, no one really reads this.
Anyway, both job interviews went really well. The bakery was part time and the music store turned out to be full time, starting over minimum wage, but there were almost entirely inflexible about taking days off. I don't understand how and why every single employee has to work every single day (minus their one day off) except holidays. They idea of one of the employees taking a long weekend, obviously not paid, seemed like a total foreign concept, which I think is crap. Really? No one could possibly work those shifts while I'm gone? After you've worked there 1 year you get 1 week paid vacation and after 2 years, 2 weeks, but I'm not waiting that long.
So I went with the bakery and the pizza place. It'll be a more complicated schedule, but at least a more flexible one.
I started at the bakery on Thursday, and it was alright...lots and lots of dish washing. I did get to make a batch of cream cheese frosting though, that was cool, even though I ended up accidently exploding some powdered sugar all over me.
The only shitty part I've come across is that all of her other employees, besides her assistant manager, are in high school or have just graduated from high school, especially the two potential girls I'd be closing with on a regular basis. They both knew it was my first day, and I didn't know anything, and they absolutely, 100% did not train me, or attempt to help me. They wouldn't tell me anything that needed to get done unless I asked them what I could do, and then they would just tell me a random task without showing me how to do it. I ended up washing a ton of dishes I apparently didn't need to do, and they just watched me struggle with stuff without offering to help.
I don't fucking get that. How the fuck does it not connect in your brain "oh, new person, they won't know the way things work around here cause its their first day. I was that person once and I remember what it was like to be trained, so I'll help train them. This would also directly benefit me cause I'm going to be working with them and I don't want to be here an hour and a half after close every night because they don't know what needs to get done."
I mean, come one, even if this was your first job, you still had to be trained in it. And you're a bloody human being, how do you not offer to help someone when you see that they don't know whats going on? Maybe they're robots.
I also finally told my ex that I'm going to New York to see John, and it went well. It was prefaced by at least an hour of sad conversation outside of WonderRoot last night, but it did end on a fairly high note I guess.
It really sucks, because its not that he's that bad, he's just not right enough.
That sounds bad. What I mean is he still has a lot of great things about him, way more good than bad, but the bad things, like making me feel like shit about myself, and never thinking putting my life or career above his would be an option in our relationship, finally made me realize that this probably wouldn't work.
More accurately it made me realize I should stop stunting myself so I could make it work.
I think there is always that chance that he'll grow up a little more, and he knows why I'm leaving and he thinks I'm totally justified, and he says he'd like to change. So maybe one day it could actually work.
It was kinda weird, but when I left, that "listen to your heart" song came on the radio. I don't think I've heard that on the radio in years. And obviously it made me think. But listening to your heart is one of the most important lessons I learned when we first split up last fall- if your heart is telling you something about how you feel, you can't use your head to talk yourself out of it. Cause then you make bad choices that make you and everyone around you very unhappy.
So I really tried to work out what I was feeling, but since this time I actually tried to make things work and figure out what I want and what I need, I really feel like I'm making the right choice to try being with someone else now.
It still hurts me to hurt him, but I know we'll both end up being ok.
It definitely sucks though.
It also sucks that I still haven't heard from the bakery about when they want me to work, so I can't tell the pizza place tonight what I'm able to work next week.
I really don't want to piss either of them off, cause I basically need both of them.
So basically, life is just a little obnoxious right now, but I guess its all good problems to be having so I shouldn't let it bother me that much.
Also I go to New York the day after tomorrow =)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
...really?
Today started off kind of interesting.
I got a call from the bakery asking me to come in for an interview tomorrow. Definitely better late than never, and I could totally balance that and a couple shifts at the pizza place.
But then, like an hour later, the music store I applied at (which I'd actually forgot about cause I didn't really think they'd want me) called and asked me to come in for an interview on Wednesday.
As my new lover said "when it rains it pours," which is a little ironic cause it was raining this morning.
So now I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, and come Wednesday I may have 3 jobs, but its ok. I'd much rather have the bakery and music store, but I dunno what sort of hours they're looking to fill, and I have a feeling they would overlap.
I think the bakery would be more reliable in the long run, but music store would be good because I'll probably be needing shit for El Scorcho and I'm sure theres an employee discount. I already know I need new strings for my guitar (cheap) and for my cello (not so cheap).
Honestly the most economical option would be to take baker or music store and then keep pizza place, because I could work during the day at one and work pizza at night.
But we'll see.
Money money money.
Thats not REALLY what matters, but I do sort of need it to help me with whats important (music, horses, traveling, moving out of my parents house, my unfounded love of certain designer brands).
I'll probably throw something up tomorrow, or maybe I'll wait until after the music store interview Wednesday morning- tomorrow night my friend Nic is having a "grown up and responsible" housewarming party for the new house he's renting. And apparently "hunch punch" is grown up and responsible. So there might be something worth telling.
Also most of my anthropology friends will be there, and I haven't seen them in a couple weeks, and none of them know about new lover.
Oh, sod it, I don't think anyone I know actually reads this, his name is John. I will be referring to him as John from here on out. And I get to see him in a week from today =)
I finally told my parents about John/New York next week and they weren't bothered at all.
I did have to tell them that he's paying for the whole plane ticket and that he's 27, but whatever. I really only lie to them for their own good. Its necessary. You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, thats really all for now.
Cheers
I got a call from the bakery asking me to come in for an interview tomorrow. Definitely better late than never, and I could totally balance that and a couple shifts at the pizza place.
But then, like an hour later, the music store I applied at (which I'd actually forgot about cause I didn't really think they'd want me) called and asked me to come in for an interview on Wednesday.
As my new lover said "when it rains it pours," which is a little ironic cause it was raining this morning.
So now I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, and come Wednesday I may have 3 jobs, but its ok. I'd much rather have the bakery and music store, but I dunno what sort of hours they're looking to fill, and I have a feeling they would overlap.
I think the bakery would be more reliable in the long run, but music store would be good because I'll probably be needing shit for El Scorcho and I'm sure theres an employee discount. I already know I need new strings for my guitar (cheap) and for my cello (not so cheap).
Honestly the most economical option would be to take baker or music store and then keep pizza place, because I could work during the day at one and work pizza at night.
But we'll see.
Money money money.
Thats not REALLY what matters, but I do sort of need it to help me with whats important (music, horses, traveling, moving out of my parents house, my unfounded love of certain designer brands).
I'll probably throw something up tomorrow, or maybe I'll wait until after the music store interview Wednesday morning- tomorrow night my friend Nic is having a "grown up and responsible" housewarming party for the new house he's renting. And apparently "hunch punch" is grown up and responsible. So there might be something worth telling.
Also most of my anthropology friends will be there, and I haven't seen them in a couple weeks, and none of them know about new lover.
Oh, sod it, I don't think anyone I know actually reads this, his name is John. I will be referring to him as John from here on out. And I get to see him in a week from today =)
I finally told my parents about John/New York next week and they weren't bothered at all.
I did have to tell them that he's paying for the whole plane ticket and that he's 27, but whatever. I really only lie to them for their own good. Its necessary. You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, thats really all for now.
Cheers
Saturday, June 9, 2012
"Hey kids, its time to use the F word..."
Fuuuck, Fuuuuuuck, Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!
Today should have been a fairly happy day, because I officially got a job and worked my first training shift. Its at a little mom and pop pizza place, and for some reason the guy has me working the front counter instead of being a driver, but I'm pretty sure that can be changed. Its not that great, but the people seem cool and moneys money for now.
But of course, it only takes one person and their shitty comments to ruin a good day, especially for me.
I got asked to come in to the pizza place again tomorrow morning, when I was supposed to pick my ex up from the airport, so I sent him a message telling him what happened and asking if he thought we could find another way to get him. I definitely did not say he was shit out of luck and I couldn't do anything for him. My mom, who is the other person thats capable of ruining days with a single comment, and who also does not like my ex, actually did something incredibly sweet and told me if he couldn't find anyone she would get him. He of course flipped out on me for "disregarding a pretty serious commitment to him," so I just told him, in a nutshell, that he should know me well enough to know I tend to put everyone else's well being before my own and I would have said I could go in to work if he couldn't find another ride, and that apparently I couldn't get anything right in his eyes, and I'm basically done with him treating me like this.
People take all of your selfless actions for granted, but if you do something selfish, or more likely, something important for yourself (like getting a job after being unemployed for a year), you are suddenly scum of the earth.
My good, and very wise friend McCabe once told me something like this: if someone makes you feel the lowest of lows, even if they can also make you feel the highest of highs, they aren't worth it.
He actually told me this when I first started dating my ex almost 3 years ago now, and I just tried to ignore it, but I've finally reached the point in my life where enough people have walked all over me and I'm just done pretending to be nice about it.
This is another reason why I shouldn't be working the front counter at a food establishment.
Btw, if you'd like to understand the title, listen to "Another F.U. Song" by Reel Big Fish.
They make a lot of simple yet perfect songs for moments like these.
Also, there may very well be obnoxious typos in this, don't really feel like thoroughly proof reading.
Cheers
Today should have been a fairly happy day, because I officially got a job and worked my first training shift. Its at a little mom and pop pizza place, and for some reason the guy has me working the front counter instead of being a driver, but I'm pretty sure that can be changed. Its not that great, but the people seem cool and moneys money for now.
But of course, it only takes one person and their shitty comments to ruin a good day, especially for me.
I got asked to come in to the pizza place again tomorrow morning, when I was supposed to pick my ex up from the airport, so I sent him a message telling him what happened and asking if he thought we could find another way to get him. I definitely did not say he was shit out of luck and I couldn't do anything for him. My mom, who is the other person thats capable of ruining days with a single comment, and who also does not like my ex, actually did something incredibly sweet and told me if he couldn't find anyone she would get him. He of course flipped out on me for "disregarding a pretty serious commitment to him," so I just told him, in a nutshell, that he should know me well enough to know I tend to put everyone else's well being before my own and I would have said I could go in to work if he couldn't find another ride, and that apparently I couldn't get anything right in his eyes, and I'm basically done with him treating me like this.
People take all of your selfless actions for granted, but if you do something selfish, or more likely, something important for yourself (like getting a job after being unemployed for a year), you are suddenly scum of the earth.
My good, and very wise friend McCabe once told me something like this: if someone makes you feel the lowest of lows, even if they can also make you feel the highest of highs, they aren't worth it.
He actually told me this when I first started dating my ex almost 3 years ago now, and I just tried to ignore it, but I've finally reached the point in my life where enough people have walked all over me and I'm just done pretending to be nice about it.
This is another reason why I shouldn't be working the front counter at a food establishment.
Btw, if you'd like to understand the title, listen to "Another F.U. Song" by Reel Big Fish.
They make a lot of simple yet perfect songs for moments like these.
Also, there may very well be obnoxious typos in this, don't really feel like thoroughly proof reading.
Cheers
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Its Alarming How Charming I Feel...
Hey there.
I am incredibly, incredibly happy.
The floating on air, goofy smile, dancing around and singing showtunes kind of happy.
I think.
I really can't remember the last time I was so infatuated with someone who was actually a good person. I suppose thats what happens when you have a thing for arrogant charm and like a challenge. However, those experiences have also taught me to be wary of the infatuation phase and not get too carried away with myself.
But are you allowed to throw caution out the window if said wonderful person wants to see you bad enough that they offer to split the cost of a plane ticket with you because they know you technically can't afford it, and take you to a Yankees game?
Even if there's a chance you'll get stabbed at said Yankees game, even if you're not wearing the opposing team's t-shirt?
Honestly, he's making it sound more like a Man U game in England than American baseball.
But yes, I am going back to New York in 11 days. Its only really partially sunk in, since we spur of the moment got a ticket last night, and I'm actually kinda stressed out about it.
Cause the thing is, I haven't really told many people about this guy. Which translates to "I haven't told people like my ex who's still trying to be with me and my mom about this guy". Funnily enough, my mom is not the person I'm most stressed out about talking to. Can't remember the last time that happened. But I really don't think she'll care.
I'll have to tell her he's paying for the whole ticket though, or she'll give me shit about "wasting money". She's one of those people who believes that you should pay your credit card balance in full every month (honestly, the only people who believe that are the people who are capable of doing it).
In other news, I went back to the bakery I applied at today to check on my ap and was simply told they were still going through all of them and they'd call when they figured it out. Basically got the same thing at the clothing boutique, but now I also have the impression they don't actually want to hire anyone until the fall.
In other other news, I'm going to Athens tonight with my friend Chris and 1 or 2 of this roommates to see Laura Stevenson and the Cans (which is a fantastic band that you are required to go check out if you've never heard of them before). The good news is that'll be fun, and Chris is driving, so I can drink all I want. The bad news is these people are not moved by the deliciousness that is The Grit (veg restaurant in Athens), and the show doesn't start til 11, so we're not getting in until after they're closed. I'll find some way to console myself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riddle Rachel This:
1) Is there any way to give a cat a haircut without making the cat look ridiculous?
-actually, I can go ahead and answer this: NO.
2) Whats the point of telling applicants that you keep employment applications on file for 6 months? If people are looking for a job, it usually means that they need a job right away. If you wait several months to call them they'll probably have forgotten they even applied there, already gotten another job, or maybe are still woefully unemployed. I'm starting to worry I'm going to be the latter =(
I am incredibly, incredibly happy.
The floating on air, goofy smile, dancing around and singing showtunes kind of happy.
I think.
I really can't remember the last time I was so infatuated with someone who was actually a good person. I suppose thats what happens when you have a thing for arrogant charm and like a challenge. However, those experiences have also taught me to be wary of the infatuation phase and not get too carried away with myself.
But are you allowed to throw caution out the window if said wonderful person wants to see you bad enough that they offer to split the cost of a plane ticket with you because they know you technically can't afford it, and take you to a Yankees game?
Even if there's a chance you'll get stabbed at said Yankees game, even if you're not wearing the opposing team's t-shirt?
Honestly, he's making it sound more like a Man U game in England than American baseball.
But yes, I am going back to New York in 11 days. Its only really partially sunk in, since we spur of the moment got a ticket last night, and I'm actually kinda stressed out about it.
Cause the thing is, I haven't really told many people about this guy. Which translates to "I haven't told people like my ex who's still trying to be with me and my mom about this guy". Funnily enough, my mom is not the person I'm most stressed out about talking to. Can't remember the last time that happened. But I really don't think she'll care.
I'll have to tell her he's paying for the whole ticket though, or she'll give me shit about "wasting money". She's one of those people who believes that you should pay your credit card balance in full every month (honestly, the only people who believe that are the people who are capable of doing it).
In other news, I went back to the bakery I applied at today to check on my ap and was simply told they were still going through all of them and they'd call when they figured it out. Basically got the same thing at the clothing boutique, but now I also have the impression they don't actually want to hire anyone until the fall.
In other other news, I'm going to Athens tonight with my friend Chris and 1 or 2 of this roommates to see Laura Stevenson and the Cans (which is a fantastic band that you are required to go check out if you've never heard of them before). The good news is that'll be fun, and Chris is driving, so I can drink all I want. The bad news is these people are not moved by the deliciousness that is The Grit (veg restaurant in Athens), and the show doesn't start til 11, so we're not getting in until after they're closed. I'll find some way to console myself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riddle Rachel This:
1) Is there any way to give a cat a haircut without making the cat look ridiculous?
-actually, I can go ahead and answer this: NO.
2) Whats the point of telling applicants that you keep employment applications on file for 6 months? If people are looking for a job, it usually means that they need a job right away. If you wait several months to call them they'll probably have forgotten they even applied there, already gotten another job, or maybe are still woefully unemployed. I'm starting to worry I'm going to be the latter =(
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Daytime TV
Now that my vague backstory is out of the way, I can talk about random shit :)
I'm watching Sex and the City. I think the people who make fun of and criticize this show have just never seen it. Or they could just be bros. It really is more of a female thing.
Anyways, I always feel kind of special watching it, because it was one of my grandma's favorite shows. Its also witty and relevant to everyday life. You know, if you're like me and everyday life does in fact include designer bags. I just have a thing for Coach. Fuck off.
ANYWAYS, as I'm spending the afternoon waiting by my phone for potential employers to call, watching Sex and the City, I became hip to the fact that it is probably totally impossible that Carrie can afford her bitchin Manhattan apartment by writing a weekly newspaper column. But in a silly, unrealistic way, it makes me feel like I can make shit work. I can make money doing something I love and have a bitchin place of my own. And yes, its silly to take such basic inspiration from such a generic fictional character, but thats why we keep making music and books and films and silly sitcoms, because we're a very diverse world and sometimes we need some reassurance that there's someone else out there that we could relate to.
I've never found many people who I can relate to. I do have a few though. I have some very lovely friends that I can relate some aspect of my life to, because my life is pretty eclectic.
I've been trying to avoid talking about this, but its sort of impossible since it pops into my mind every five minutes, but I've met someone. Well, I've known him for a while, but he just recently crossed into the "Potential Mate Zone". Perhaps that should be explained-- my new and improved background in evolutionary biology has given me a new and improved smarty pants vocabulary. You may be able to physically be with someone, but first you have to actually recognize that someone as a potential mate. And once someone crosses into The Not a Potential Mate Zone, aka The Friend Zone, it can be hard to readjust your brain. But I did, and I'm really glad that I did. Well, I think I am. I'm also really scared that I'm just being silly and it won't go anywhere, because to jump back on the whole people-I-can-relate-myself-to track, he may be the most relatable to me guy I've ever kind of been with (yes, that was horrible wording, but I couldn't think of another way to put it). Its kind of since we're not together. Because he doesn't live anywhere near me.
< I feel the need to add a disclaimer real quick and say this is NOT my best friend Mike. He is just my best friend and we are both totally happy like that >
So yes, although I was definitely not looking for someone, I found a very, very nice someone. And I realized that he's the first person I've ever dated and or been with who would not have made fun of me for saying "I just had a giant salad and now I'm reading," but actually said that sentence to me. I mean, thats something so simple, to have compatible eating and reading habits, but I realized that every man prior had not only been different from me, but made fun of me for being different. Not necessarily in a mean way, and not in a way that made me change myself, but it still made me unhappy. I've also never had someone who adopted a new habit or interest for me. And maybe they didn't expect me to adopt theirs, but I still did, and I enjoyed it, but they would still make fun of me and my unique little hobbies, interests or guilty pleasures. And I would really like the chance to get to know this guy more, because aside from all the other great things I'm learning about him, I think he'd actually be accepting of my little quirks in a non condescending way, and I don't think an alternative would even cross his mind.
Why has it been so hard to find someone like that?
Probably because I only recently started appreciating myself.
Too bad the fucking bakery hasn't called to appreciate me yet.
Excuse the mushy sappiness.
Cheers!
I'm watching Sex and the City. I think the people who make fun of and criticize this show have just never seen it. Or they could just be bros. It really is more of a female thing.
Anyways, I always feel kind of special watching it, because it was one of my grandma's favorite shows. Its also witty and relevant to everyday life. You know, if you're like me and everyday life does in fact include designer bags. I just have a thing for Coach. Fuck off.
ANYWAYS, as I'm spending the afternoon waiting by my phone for potential employers to call, watching Sex and the City, I became hip to the fact that it is probably totally impossible that Carrie can afford her bitchin Manhattan apartment by writing a weekly newspaper column. But in a silly, unrealistic way, it makes me feel like I can make shit work. I can make money doing something I love and have a bitchin place of my own. And yes, its silly to take such basic inspiration from such a generic fictional character, but thats why we keep making music and books and films and silly sitcoms, because we're a very diverse world and sometimes we need some reassurance that there's someone else out there that we could relate to.
I've never found many people who I can relate to. I do have a few though. I have some very lovely friends that I can relate some aspect of my life to, because my life is pretty eclectic.
I've been trying to avoid talking about this, but its sort of impossible since it pops into my mind every five minutes, but I've met someone. Well, I've known him for a while, but he just recently crossed into the "Potential Mate Zone". Perhaps that should be explained-- my new and improved background in evolutionary biology has given me a new and improved smarty pants vocabulary. You may be able to physically be with someone, but first you have to actually recognize that someone as a potential mate. And once someone crosses into The Not a Potential Mate Zone, aka The Friend Zone, it can be hard to readjust your brain. But I did, and I'm really glad that I did. Well, I think I am. I'm also really scared that I'm just being silly and it won't go anywhere, because to jump back on the whole people-I-can-relate-myself-to track, he may be the most relatable to me guy I've ever kind of been with (yes, that was horrible wording, but I couldn't think of another way to put it). Its kind of since we're not together. Because he doesn't live anywhere near me.
< I feel the need to add a disclaimer real quick and say this is NOT my best friend Mike. He is just my best friend and we are both totally happy like that >
So yes, although I was definitely not looking for someone, I found a very, very nice someone. And I realized that he's the first person I've ever dated and or been with who would not have made fun of me for saying "I just had a giant salad and now I'm reading," but actually said that sentence to me. I mean, thats something so simple, to have compatible eating and reading habits, but I realized that every man prior had not only been different from me, but made fun of me for being different. Not necessarily in a mean way, and not in a way that made me change myself, but it still made me unhappy. I've also never had someone who adopted a new habit or interest for me. And maybe they didn't expect me to adopt theirs, but I still did, and I enjoyed it, but they would still make fun of me and my unique little hobbies, interests or guilty pleasures. And I would really like the chance to get to know this guy more, because aside from all the other great things I'm learning about him, I think he'd actually be accepting of my little quirks in a non condescending way, and I don't think an alternative would even cross his mind.
Why has it been so hard to find someone like that?
Probably because I only recently started appreciating myself.
Too bad the fucking bakery hasn't called to appreciate me yet.
Excuse the mushy sappiness.
Cheers!
I Need To Start Writing Again...
So...yeah.
It is now 2012.
I have graduated from Georgia State University with a Bachelors in Anthropology.
I'm finally 21.
I was in a committed, cohabitational relationship for 2.5 years, which I broke up because I fucked up.
After several miserable months I sort of got him back, only to have him treat me like crap, but still decide that he wants me to move back in, even though we're not any sort of couple. I'm finally realizing that even though I got what I wanted, I don't think thats what he wanted. He doesn't know what he wants, and maybe I don't either.
I now live with my parents again.
I am unemployed and searching for a job.
The two most promising places I've applied (which haven't called me yet) are a bakery and a clothing boutique.
I have also semi-secretly applied to be a retail coordinator between an Asian museum and their museum store. The job is in New York City. (Thats why its semi-secret).
I've wanted to start a band since I was about 5, and every attempt has failed. But I've recently decided that I shouldn't give up, so I've been trying to play guitar again, and one of my best friends, Yumiko, is going to actually play guitar in this alleged band. At the moment its called El Scorcho. Yes, its a Weezer reference, because she's half Japanese and I'm a redhead (except I'm the one that plays the cello, details).
So I guess I do know what I want- make music, make money, get my own place, and possibly move to New York. And fun, lots of fun.
It is now 2012.
I have graduated from Georgia State University with a Bachelors in Anthropology.
I'm finally 21.
I was in a committed, cohabitational relationship for 2.5 years, which I broke up because I fucked up.
After several miserable months I sort of got him back, only to have him treat me like crap, but still decide that he wants me to move back in, even though we're not any sort of couple. I'm finally realizing that even though I got what I wanted, I don't think thats what he wanted. He doesn't know what he wants, and maybe I don't either.
I now live with my parents again.
I am unemployed and searching for a job.
The two most promising places I've applied (which haven't called me yet) are a bakery and a clothing boutique.
I have also semi-secretly applied to be a retail coordinator between an Asian museum and their museum store. The job is in New York City. (Thats why its semi-secret).
I've wanted to start a band since I was about 5, and every attempt has failed. But I've recently decided that I shouldn't give up, so I've been trying to play guitar again, and one of my best friends, Yumiko, is going to actually play guitar in this alleged band. At the moment its called El Scorcho. Yes, its a Weezer reference, because she's half Japanese and I'm a redhead (except I'm the one that plays the cello, details).
So I guess I do know what I want- make music, make money, get my own place, and possibly move to New York. And fun, lots of fun.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Lets Begin The November Chronicles...GO!
Well, if you (the nonreadership) can recall, next week begins the last week of the month of October, which last year was the last week before my life completely went to shit.
So its almost come full circle.
And I'm not sure why I'm constantly assuming this year will parallel the last, but nevertheless, I've been terrified of the oncoming November.
So lets see where I am now...working at Gallery Row again, except I've recently begun to hate it a little. And the only reason for that is the fact that I have to drive almost an hour to get here, and then work an 8 or 10 hour shift alone. Im still passionate about the work itself, especially my new assistant manager shit and finally being able to justify my power. Even if its still only for minimum wage. Oh yeah, thats another reason I'm fucking tired of this shit-my raise hasn't been showing up in payroll yet.
Besides the job, everything is actually going pretty fucking great, to the point of almost being too good to be true: I've finally figured out exactly what I want to study for the next 2 and a half years of forced higher education: Anthropology. Fuckin excited about it too.
McCabe and I are on absolutely honest and good terms, we've started working on music stuff, Andy and Ryan are happily married, Cassie and Roland are probably soon to be happily married, and for the first time in 5 years, Cassie has a real place to live. A real (and really nice) apartment with a real guy who takes care of her and makes her happy no strings attached.
Marleny, though in shitloads of debt, is still fairly happy, and is probably going to settle down herself in the next few years. Dunno what Garretts up to except for lots of mountain biking, but I think he's good for now. Paul cut his hair and is probably going to become a victim of "Bro Rape" (youtube it) before long, but I think he's content, and thats what matters.
I've been to New York, I've sat in front of that house and cried, and I'm closer to feeling OK with all that again. My relationship with my mom is unrecognizable compared to a year ago. We actually went out and got along perfectly for an entire evening. It was actually fun. She treats me like a real human being now.
I'm dating a guy that is so close to perfect it bothers me. Except he only pays for me if its something cheap, like just coffee. And he makes way more than me, so I don't get it...
Is it bad that when things are going really well, I'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan again? And I mean, honestly, this is what happened last year about this time, except things are actually way better than they were....so does that mean that whatevers coming is going to be correspondingly worse? Or am I paranoid? Or did everything thats happened in the past year just been necessary to get to this point?
We shall see...
I had one of those moments where I felt like I'm already in the future, like grandparent age, and that whats happening right now is just a flashback into the past.
Of course, thats really what it is, if you want to get freaky and technical: somewhere in the future, we already are looking back and remembering whats happening right now. You know? You care? NO! Ha...
So yeah. I need to keep up with this more like I used to. I'm really going to make more of an effort. Cyber venting fronts are good for me.
Cheers,
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